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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25342507">Falling Flower</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/aruhime/pseuds/aruhime'>aruhime</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>VICTON (Band)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - College/University, Angst, Hanahaki Disease, Hurt No Comfort, M/M</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-07-17</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-07-17</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-18 06:21:53</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Major Character Death</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,230</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25342507</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/aruhime/pseuds/aruhime</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>When Heo Chan falls, he falls hard. There's no way he can get out of the pit hole called Kang Seungsik, and he does not actively try to climb out either. That's the problem. Chan falls too deep and he doesn't want to get out.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Heo Chan/Kang Seungsik</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>21</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Falling Flower</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>I don't know what is this. I'm sorry for this monstrosity.</p><p>Come and scream about them with me in my twt: @ppyongtae, or updates about what I'm currently writing (and procrastinating) in my writing twt: @chaniiro!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>君へと舞い落ちてくよ今すぐ会いたい<br/>
いつかきっと君が僕の心に<br/>
“私は花 私は花”<br/>
綺麗な花を咲かせる<br/>
と信じているから</p><p>
  <em>I’m falling to you I want to see you right now</em><br/>
<em>Someday you might be in my heart</em><br/>
<em>I am a flower I am a flower</em><br/>
<em>I’ll bloom a beautiful flower</em><br/>
<em>I will always believe in you</em>
</p><p>—Seventeen, <em>Falling Flower</em></p><p> </p><p>:::</p><p>
  
</p><p>When Heo Chan falls, he falls hard. There's no way he can get out of the pit hole called Kang Seungsik, and he does not actively try to climb out either. That's the problem. Chan falls too deep and he doesn't want to get out.</p><p>Sejun stares in horror as his roommate coughed a mouthful of sunflower petals. He should be used to this sight—Chan being all bloody and petal-y in their shared bathroom, but he cannot help but tearing up, again. For the third time this week.</p><p>"Sejun, what the heck." Chan laughs, adding up the horrifying sight as he coughs out several more petals and blood clots. "I'm not dying. Don't cry."</p><p>"Yet!" Sejun grabs the tissue box, helping Chan to wipe the bloody sink. "At this rate you're going to die young. Why don't you confess already, hyung?"</p><p>"Can't you see he's happily living with Woo-hyung?"</p><p>Sejun keeps his mouth mum. He knows there's no point in arguing the same thing over and over again. Chan is not going to tell Seungsik about his feeling, ever, and Sejun is not going to have his worry settled. They would end up shouting to each other, Sejun and Chan, and resulting in Chan's coughing up more petals, and blood, and they would run to the sink again, and Sejun would help his hyung wipe the sink. It's an endless loop.</p><p>Chan's consideration are 1) Seungsik is already happy with Seungwoo, and 2) he cannot let his friend worry over him like Sejun does, because the feeling is not mutual anyway, and there's nothing Seungsik can do to help him. The only way to help is to reciprocate the feelings, that's it. Forcing Seungsik to like him back? Chan would rather kill himself first.</p><p>Sejun is an unhappy accident, because he's Chan's roommate and there's no way Sejun couldn't notice his roommate gasping for breath and choking on his own blood and petals almost every morning. Chan makes him swear on his life (and their weekly dose of coffee) to not tell anyone, not even Byungchan.</p><p>"Then what are you going to do?" Sejun cries on the first morning he witnesses the bloody sunflower petals.</p><p>"Nothing." has been Chan's answer, and Sejun has been worrying over him since.</p><p>It's five month ago, and, of course, Chan's condition is not getting any better.</p><p>Much to Sejun's distress, Chan himself is not concerned at all. He continues to hang with the rest of them, laughs along when Seungwoo teases Seungsik, keeps his gym schedule with Sejun and Subin, attends his classes like usual, and acts like nothing major is happening. Sure, it is sometimes interrupted with short trips to toilet and being slightly dizzy afterwards, but aside from that, Chan is just like his usual self.</p><p>He knows this shouldn't be going on for too long. Painkiller pills and petal-suppression are his best friend now. There's always the surgery option, but it's very expensive. His monthly income from the part-time jobs couldn't possibly fund that, even with Sejun's money chipped in. It's not like Chan wants to use Sejun's hard-earned money, no. </p><p>His only option is the painkiller.</p><p>Sometimes Chan cries himself to sleep. Sometimes he just silently lies on his bed, listening to Sejun's soft snore, feeling the petals slowly filling his lungs and blocking his throat. Sometimes he lets the blood drooling out of his mouth and seeping into his pillow, leaving stains. Sometimes Sejun cries with him, and they end up with tangled limbs on Chan's bed. Sometimes Chan blames himself for falling to his childhood friend. </p><p>Growing up with Seungsik—Seungsik who wears the angel's halo around his head—is one of Chan's greatest experience, according to himself. He ranks the "best experience in life" list based on the happiness bar—the higher it gets, the higher its rank is on the list. So far, the only thing higher than him and Seungsik being a childhood friend is his university enrolment.</p><p>They have been the perfect duo; the troublemaker Heo Chan and every teacher's favourite Kang Seungsik. Everyone on their secondary school and high school know them. Every time Chan is scolded because of his antics, Seungsik is there, too, being an emotional support. The teachers always know it’s always Chan’s doing, though, and Seungsik is always scold-free at the end of their teacher’s lecturing session. Chan’s heart pounds fondly at the memories.</p><p>That, until they attend university and meet everyone else, and Seungwoo.</p><p>Chan doesn't blame Seungwoo, he really doesn't. After all, neither he, Seungsik, nor Seungwoo can choose to whom their heart falls into. The universe is a strange place, and Chan couldn't possibly understand how it works. All Chan can understand is that he suddenly wants Seungsik in his life, to be the first person he sees when waking up in the morning, to be the person Chan shares his life with.</p><p>What Chan couldn’t understand is that he suddenly lives with endless number of sunflower petals filling up his lungs.</p><p>:::</p><p>“Sejunnie?” Chan whispers.</p><p>“Yes, hyung?”</p><p>Everything is blurry. The bed under him feels like swaying. Contrary to his dizzy head and sick stomach right now, the sway reminds Chan of a boat, the one he and Seungsik used to mount during their summer holiday. It’s almost comforting in an odd way. If he hears closely, he can imagine the rushing water around him.</p><p>Chan closes his eyes, trying to keep his breath even. It’s kind of hard, since the petals are rapidly growing inside. The pressure inside his chest is steadily rising. <em>It’s heavy</em>, Chan thinks.</p><p>His aching head is no more painful than his aching heart, and with that, Chan still has the time to consider himself being too corny. He thinks about the way his chest squeezes hard whenever Seungsik laughs at whatever he says. It’s too sappy, Chan laughs mentally. Since when he has been a sap? Since he starts loving Seungsik, apparently.</p><p>Chan chokes because he tries to hold his laugh and the petals.</p><p>But, honestly speaking, Chan’s head is spinning right now. The rocking motion from his imaginary boat with Seungsik is increasing—it doesn’t only sway, it also spins now. The only anchor Chan has is the bedsheet.</p><p>Sejun is beside him, no? Chan remembers he calls for Sejun earlier, and he remembers Sejun’s footsteps approaching. Sejun is here, Sejun is a nice roommate. Sejun is happy with Byungchan, and Chan feels guilty that Sejun has to know his corny struggle. Chan hopes Sejun is happy, with Byungchan. And Seungsik, too, with Seungwoo.</p><p>Does Sejun still there, beside him, no? Chan wants to ask, but it’s kinda hard to breathe now. He cannot feel the bedsheet any longer.</p><p>“Hyung?” Sejun’s voice comes from a place far away. “Hyung? Shit, answer me, Chan-hyung?”</p><p>Chan doesn’t reply.</p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Credit to the english translation goes to colorcodedlyrics.com!</p></blockquote></div></div>
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